To Sir With Love

Having spent the most of my conscious part of life “Sir”ing various people, starting from my school days and then during my professional life, I am forced to take a serious dekko at this word. 

Webster’s dictionary says: Noun

1. Term of address for a man.

2. (British) a title used before the name of knight or baronet.

The obsessive use of this word in the uniformed services is unparalleled. It makes me wonder whether it is an Obsessive compulsive disorder (a very fashionable disorder to have). A subaltern conversing with his senior on telephone would sound something like this, Good morning Sir, Sir, Sir sir, sir sir sir, sir, Regards sir. The no of times this word is used is directly proportional to the rank of the person on the other side (or the weight of the rank badges on his shoulders). A single sir connotes affirmation whereas a quick succession of sirs (ie sir sir sir sir preferably uttered in 0.5 secs) adds an element of seriousness to the affirmation. And anyway most of us seriously believe that there is no harm in siring a few more times than what actually is required. A recent study conducted by scientists at MIT has concluded that if we manage to utter the word “OM” even half the number of times we “sir” then attaining “moksha” is a real possibility. 

Seniors nine out of ten times are mentioned as XYZ sir, even if he is not in the listening distance. Sharma sir is a more accepted way of addressing compared to Mr Sharma, although Mr even remotely does not qualify for an invective. The usage is so prevalent that I have seen mobiles having names listed with a suffix sir. 

A variant of Sir is Sirji. Do not confuse the added ji with adding more respect to the already revered sir; it is in fact a very popular way of addressing the seniors who have missed the bus. Then there is “Siiiiiiiir” which is a sine-qua-non (for youngsters wishing to climb the corporate oops combat ladder), especially when the revered sir is regaling the younger lot about his exploits (in the good old days) after downing a few stiff ones in the mess (It is best said during the pauses in the narration). “Right sir” accompanied with a stiff hand shake is the expected way to say “bye “or “Good Bye” when you leave the esteemed company of your senior. 

Those who have had a stint in the UN would vouch for the fact that getting the “sir” out your system and getting used to addressing others by their first name is a huge cultural shock for most of us. Sir is also not a preferred way of addressing in the corporate world as the emphasis there is on building team and not hierarchy. So “to sir or not to sir” is really a million dollar question.